𝐌𝐲 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲…
Listen to the podcast on this topic here (also found on iTunes & Spotify)
In 2013 I made a choice to get larger breasts 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐬𝐞 that I wanted to simply have more symmetrical breasts.
Although that was true to some extent, I also wanted them bigger because having narrow hips and a small chest left me feeling less feminine based on societal “𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘴” or what media portrayed as “𝘴𝘦𝘹𝘺” my entire life.
𝐀𝐧𝐲𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬, 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞, 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬.
I had gotten a divorce that same summer & that left me fearing “𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘮𝘰𝘮?” It broke my heart. I mourned the loss of what I thought was “supposed” to happen in my life.
I had also realized 𝐦𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 (𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘥 𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘢𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘮 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘧𝘦𝘸 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘭 𝘐 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 & 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘣𝘦𝘳).
During this same time, I had also just sustained a 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐫𝐲 and fractured skull after falling down my stairs (𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘥𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘬 𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝟸𝟿𝘵𝘩 𝘣𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘥𝘢𝘺).
I was making reckless choices (𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘨𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵) all while being 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 & expansion of consciousness.
You see, I wanted to 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭 of my self-development and self-love journey.
This was before I truly understood that feeling better was an 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐉𝐎𝐁. Back then, I was still looking for a 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐜𝐡 (outside measures) to gain more confidence within myself.
Had I known how much I would soon 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞, 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟, I would have never chosen this surgery because I know 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐲 & 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬.
Had I known how much I would 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 & 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨, 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟.
Love the version of me who was still suffering and neglecting herself so much.
𝘚𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘴, 𝘥𝘰 𝘐 𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘵 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘴?
𝐒𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐲, 𝐈 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭.
It was a choice that was an important part of my 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐥’𝐬 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐭𝐡 & 𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 in this lifetime.
I needed to understand, at a deep level, what it feels like to 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵 myself or body in order to also 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐭 𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩, 𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥, 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡, 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 & 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 - 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲. I named my company www.bodycherish.ca for a reason!
The journey of learning to 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 with 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘴, 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴, 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘩𝘺 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦𝘴, 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘩𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱𝘴, and 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞, has been so beautiful.
After growing my 9 lb daughter inside my 5”3 frame, I have a 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 & 𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐰𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐬 to not only hold me through this lifetime, but to 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘰𝘰!
Lastly, it is 100% possible to have cosmetic surgery from 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 & 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞. Those who make that choice, I celebrate!
I, however, wasn’t making this decision from that place of empowerment (𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘐 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴).
So, the final question is, 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘐 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘺? I will one day, I just don’t know when.
I am nervous to go to hospitals, let alone under the knife so it may be awhile yet. I do also understand the immense health benefits of getting them removed.
In the meantime, 𝐈 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 on someone who has had elective surgery. You will never know their backstory & what propelled them to that choice.
Ps. my wish is for every woman to find deeper levels of love & appreciation for herself. 𝐓𝐨 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐬 & 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞.
Thank you for reading, I love you.
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